The Difficulty with Giftedness

If you would have told me 5 years ago that in a few years one of my children would be markedly gifted I would have been really excited! I have learned so much since then.
Joshua's uniqueness is something I tend to avoid talking too much about. I know exactly how it sounds for a Mom to call her own child "gifted." It is just a mother who thinks her child better or smarter than everyone else's. This may be true in some (or even most) cases, but not in all.
Whenever I do decide to brave the admission, "Joshua is gifted," I find I always have to justify that statement. "He was asking us how to do multiplication when he was 5 years old." "He figured out how to do basic square roots after a 5 minute conversation with a friend at a birthday party." "He enjoys figuring out how many days a person has been living in his free time." "He was asking to read chapter books in Kindergarten." "One morning I woke up to find he had been entertaining himself by converting temperatures from Celsius to Fahrenheit and vice verse." He is always providing these little snippets of proof so they're not that hard to think of when needed.
The trouble is most people don't know the whole story of what being a gifted child can be like. We assume it's based on the observation of a child who is brighter or smarter than his peers in some way but we don't realize the other side of this "gift." First of all, it is not always easy to keep up with a child whose brain seems to work in a completely different way. Second, for most gifted kids these areas of acceleration come partnered with other areas that can cause quite a bit of frustration, for themselves and for others around them.
It is a response to this very frustration that lead me to buy the book, "Living with Intensity" edited by Susan Deniels, Ph.D. and Michael M. Piechowski, Ph.D. earlier this year. As it reads much like a college textbook it's been a bit of a slow one for me, but I have laughed and cried multiple times reading it because of how much it has lead me to understand about Joshua and who he is and what is going on in his mind.
In this book they address a series of what they call "overexcitabilities" that are common among gifted people. There are a couple of these that seem to fit perfectly with Joshua's quirks that have come to light as he's grown up. I thought I might list some of the qualities that go along with them here so that others who love him might be able to understand him a little better as well:

Surplus of energy, rapid speech, marked excitation, intense physical activity (e.g., fast games and sports), pressure for action (eg., organizing), marked competitiveness, compulsive talking and chattering, impulsive actions, nervous habits, workaholism, acting out.
In young gifted children, we hear rapid, seemingly excessive, almost compulsive speech. They may explain things until you beg them to stop!

Reading through that list and the pages of continued description that followed brought a sudden feeling of relief that I am not the only parent who is trying to help a child who sees the world through a very different lens. It is because of this that other parents have asked if I've had him tested for one disorder or another. I've read up about most of them and don't feel that any really apply to Joshua like they should for a diagnosis. This list, however, does. 

The more I have read out of this book, the more I am certain that Joshua is merely a gifted little boy trying to function in a world that puts a high value on normalcy. It is my job as his Mom and his teacher to help him learn to do that. In the mean time, it is certainly a comfort to know that I am not the only one on this path.

""Gifted children can be exhausting, demanding, and perplexing enigmas. They often amaze, delight and confound adults who know, love and teach them."

Christmas Card

A Different Christmas

This year Christmas is going to look a little different for us. For the first time we'll be traveling to visit family for the holiday.
We found out in August the Phil's Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. We have decided to take a trip to Oklahoma for Christmas to be able to spend the holiday with him.
While we're glad to be able to make the trip out to see him, we've had to change some of our normal traditions so we can. We usually buy a fresh tree each year to hang decorations on and look at each year. It seemed silly to buy a fresh tree for just a couple of weeks before we leave that will sit here dark and lonely on Christmas day.

So we've done a bit of improvising. My Mom bought this little tree for me sometime in high school so I could decorate one in my bedroom. I've kept it and we usually put it in the boys room during the holidays. This year it will be in the living room instead. The boys seemed to have just as much fun decorating it up as a regular size tree.

To be able to enjoy some of our favorite ornaments that make an appearance every year I hung a garland that is usually used elsewhere in the house on the living room wall. I put most of our of pickles on it (15 in all now) then let the boys choose their favorite ornaments to put in between them. I think it turned out pretty well and the boys are very happy with it.
Most importantly, they are even more happy about being able to go to Oklahoma. They talk about it every day. It will be a very long drive there so hopefully the anticipation will somehow make the drive feel shorter.

Thankful

This year has been one for the books in our family! We have so much to be thankful for, so I thought I'd take a moment the day before Thanksgiving to list just a few of those things specifically... in no particular order.

1. Phil made Chief!
Most of our year had been spent worrying and doing our best to trust God over what the future would hold. We had no idea until the 1st of August whether we would even be in the Navy anymore by November. He was denied PTS over and over. It came down to the options of Phil making Chief his first time being board eligible, or we would be getting out. It was a mite overwhelming, to say the least. On August 1st, I received the unbelievable tear-inducing phone call from Phil letting me know he was on the list! Though, as Phil has commented, those anchors he put on do get heavy at times, I could not be more grateful for them.


2. This teeny baby in my belly.
We decided to wait on the decision of whether or not to have another baby after Jeremiah until we felt more certain about it. It took a few years, but I'm really glad we waited. It is all a new feeling again this time. The boys are so involved in the entire process. Not a day goes by that they aren't curling up beside me to watch a show or read a book that they aren't putting their hand on my little belly just to have it there. Joshua was even trying to sing a song through my tummy the other day. They say that by now our baby would only be about 4 inches long, but it's plain to see this baby already has a hold on all of our hearts.


3. My two loving and cuddly boys.

They are also brilliant, kind, funny, creative, talented and sincere. I could probably go on all day. They have their faults as well, of course, but overall I am so happy with my two unique little boys that I would be perfectly content to have another to learn from and watch grow.

4. Homeschooling.
This one goes hand in hand with #3. I am so thankful for the ability to be able to spend all day every day with our boys helping them to slowly the become these amazing men I sometimes see peep out of their little boy shells. They really genuinely enjoy learning and I really do enjoy teaching them all these new ideas and ways of doing things.

5. Food on the table and clothes on our backs.
This one so often goes without saying, but this year in particular we are grateful for a regular well-paying job for Phil that enables us to not have to worry too much about these things.

6. My Better Half.
I could not be more proud of Phil than I am this year. As hard as those PTS challenges were on me, they must have been 4x as hard on Phil but he never gave up. He kept putting in the effort as much as he was able. After his pinning for Chief I had several people tell me about how well he did in making it through the induction process (which was definitely another challenge in and of itself). Not only did he prove himself worthy to become a Chief to the selection board, he continued to do so by not giving up until the results came out and then again through the induction period that it seemed might never end. He has always been a great provider for our little family and a leader for us in many ways. I am so grateful for my decision early on to marry him. Every year he becomes even more the man of my dreams, though I never would have thought that possible.

Soccer and #3

Soccer is now finally in full swing! We had been set back by quite a bit of bad weather, but things have cleared up and games and practices have been fairly consistent.

This year Josh is in with the 7-9 year old group. Josh is now one of the youngest on his team. The competition is more intense and the players more skilled. So far he's doing great at trying to catch up to the other players.

Jeremiah is a Soccer Tot for the last time this year. He's doing really well with it, but is definitely looking forward to playing with the bigger kids next year.

While I'm putting up an update, I might as well mention that we are pregnant! We'll be expecting baby #3 sometime mid-May of next year. We're excited and nervous all at the same time. The boys couldn't be happier with the news. Almost every day they are coming up with a new suggestion for names. Joshua has been going over and above with trying to be helpful and Jeremiah is adjusting the idea of being a big brother. There will certainly be a lot more news about this in the coming months. For now, I'm right around 9 weeks and really looking forward to the 2nd trimester and the relief it should bring from the morning sickness!

Phil's Pinning

Over a week ago now was one of the most important ceremonies in Phil's career.

We were so proud of him when we first found out he had made Chief and did our best to support him through the induction season.

His pinning marked the end of this process and the beginning of his time as a Chief Petty Officer. I thought I'd share some pictures and things from that day.

Phil was able to choose 2 people to pin his new anchors on his collar. He asked me to do one of them and had the boys work together to do the other. Jeremiah put on the front of the pin.

And Josh had the difficult responsibility of putting on the back. We realized shortly after they had done it that it ended up being put on upside down. I think that only added to the cuteness of it, though. The boys did a really good job with it.

After we did our part, Phil's sponsor put his new cover on for the first time. 

After the ceremony was mostly done, each new Chief walked down the center aisle one at a time. It was so great to see each of them. It was such a proud moment.

Afterward we grabbed a few family shots with Phil in is brand spankin' new khakis.

 As proud as we have been of Phil this whole time, it has definitely been a difficult few weeks to get through and we're so glad now to finally be on the other side!

We did find out that because of all of this Phil will be transferring soon. We'll be staying in the area (so we don't have to try and sell the house yet) but Phil will now we working from a different base. I still have work to do on learning about this new command so maybe once I know more, I can share a little more. In the mean time, it's so nice to be done and settled and ready to move on after all those months and months of waiting in limbo not being sure if we'd be able to stay in the military or not!

All Sorts of Updates

This has been quite a couple of weeks for us! Things are just starting to quiet down today so I thought I'd get some pictures out for everyone to see.

The first big event was Jeremiah's 5th birthday. We spent the entire doing things Jeremiah wanted to do. Waffle House for breakfast, playing video games, Chuck E Cheese,

 chinese food for lunch, and a bounce house place. My Mom and Dad were coming in on a flight that evening so we went to soccer practice while we waited. They came in right after so we grabbed a pizza and enjoyed their company until bedtime.

That's when the rest of the family started getting here for Phil's pinning... which was the very next day! I'll put pictures together from this event on a separate post since I have so many.

The day after the pinning was Jeremiah's birthday party. It turned into such a fun day!

He had asked for a Hot Wheels theme. I had a car cake pan from when Joshua had asked for the same theme. We gave each kid a car cake and let them go to town decorating their own car. We had so much fun doing it!

We even had a guest appearance of a 3 foot Darth Vader at the end. :) This is him with his Uncle Adam. Notice the toes. Those are my favorite part!

After everyone else headed home, my parents stuck around for a bit. Because of work, my Dad had to head back Sunday evening, so we did our best to enjoy the last little bit of time with him by heading to a museum here called Nauticus.

It was pretty interesting and we had just enough time to get my Dad off to the airport and headed home.

My Mom was able to stay for a week longer so we tried to have as much fun with her as we could.

At the end of the week Phil and I were able to go to his Khaki Ball while my Mom watched the boys. We stayed overnight and had such a good time!

The day before my Mom had to leave, we all headed to the Children's Museum that has been completely remodeled since the last time we were there.

Wow! I had forgotten how fun this place was for the boys. The price has gone up since the remodel, but it is definitely a completely different museum now!

Only a few things were reused and the layout and design of the place now is spectacular! It definitely made for a memorable time for the boys and the adults as well.

We'll have to go back sometime soon.